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Sex in the third trimester

Sex in the third trimester

From my perspective as a sexologist, I think it is important for couples to maintain an emotional and physically intimate relationship right through pregnancy.  You need to be as close as possible to face the challenges ahead and come out stronger and closer on the other side.

In the third trimester, you might have to be a little more creative, but you might also be in for the best sex of life!  The blood flow to your genitals is much higher than usual and therefore you can feel much more aroused than you do normally.  Your orgasms can also be much more intense.

You might however find that you take longer to orgasm and that you experience some dryness.  This is all normal.  If you are dry, use a water or silicone based lube without any added colourings or flavouring. You don’t want to develop a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis at this stage.

It’s also important to still use a condom to protect yourself against STIs if you are not in a stable relationship at this stage, or if your partner has not been tested for STIs. Getting an infection in your third trimester can be very harmful to the baby.

Some women feel at their sexiest when they are in their third trimester, but the reality is that most don’t like their bigger bodies and want to shy away from sex.  You might also be exhausted, especially if you are still working and running around to get everything done for the arrival of the new baby. Make sure you get plenty of rest and make time to be intimate with your partner.

Some men find their partners at their sexiest when they are in their third trimester and some find it very strange to have sex with a pregnant woman.  They are also often afraid that they will hurt the unborn baby. They need reassurance from their partners and doctors that it is still safe to have sex.

Sex is not safe if you have placenta previa, where the placenta is over the opening of the uterus; if you are bleeding; your water has broken; or if you have an infection.  If you had a previous preterm labour or miscarriage, your doctor might also advise you not to have sex.  Always check with your obstetrician if you are not sure.

It might also not be safe or comfortable for a woman to lie flat on her back late in pregnancy.  The heavy uterus can compress the major artery from the heart and cause severe low blood pressure.  The bump is in the way, anyway, so try these positions:

Be on top:  This way you are completely in control and can determine the depth and rhythm.  You also get to show off your breasts that are at their most beautiful right now.

Spooning: Both lying on your sides and he enters your vagina from behind.

Rear-entry:  Support yourself on all fours and let him enter from behind.

Oral sex:  Due to the increased blood flow, this might be the best oral sex you will ever have, so cash in on it!

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HIV and safe conception

HIV and safe conception

By Dr. Elna Rudolph and Dr. Jireh Serfontein.

Before the introduction of antiretroviral therapy (ART), healthcare providers discouraged childbearing due to the risk of HIV transmission (to uninfected partners as well as from mother-to-child).

Read the full article here.

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Sexual Health Tests: What You Need When

Sexual Health Tests: What You Need When

Published in Clicks Clubcard Magazine, June 2015.

Knowing your ‘status’ isn’t only about HIV. Getting checked out for other STIs is crucial to protect your health – and your fertility.

Flavoured condoms for everyone? This is not the usual type of headline you see in newspapers… But with Health Minister Aaron Motsoaledi recently announcing that the Department of Health was going to be handing these out at universities, it’s a clear sign that South Africa has come a long way in finding solutions to curb the spread of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STI). The innovative move comes off the back of research by the Human Sciences Research Council (HSRC) that more and more South Africans are having unsafe sex and have no fear of getting infected with HIV/Aids. And it’s not just varsity students – the stats show that this attitude is worsening across all age groups. The good news – and boy do we need some – is that because our country has far-reaching treatment programmes fewer people are dying from the disease.

Read the full article here.

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Let’s talk about sex

Let’s talk about sex

In today’s complicated and tricky world, sex is becoming an increasingly more difficult thing to define. “Sex” can mean vastly different things to different people. Each person has their own particular definition of what it means to have a “healthy sex life”.

I was asked by a student publication to address the question: “How should we as students view sex in our lives?”

It is impossible to give a single straightforward answer to this question. For example, one student may view sex as a taboo, whereas another may see it as “fun” or as healthy part of a relationship. Each student is unique, with specific personal thoughts and opinions about sex. To attempt to prescribe an all-encompassing view that all students can apply to themselves, would be a futile task.

The important message is that students, regardless of what their belief systems or personal choices are, should be encouraged to make informed choices and be safe.

Safety cannot be stressed enough. Being “safe” is more than simply using condoms. “Safety” means looking after your health, which includes your sexual health. Medical concerns such as pap smears, family planning and HIV testing are just as important as addressing your personal concerns and ideas regarding sex and sexuality.

Safety is not an issue of morality, safety is for everybody.

Irrespective of your personal choices and behaviour regarding sex, sexuality and relationships, you should be addressing your sexual health. Campus Health Centres at Universities do provide sexual and gender health services.

Our generation is unique in that we live in a world where information is so easily available. It is quite literally at our fingertips. When deciding how to view sex in your own life, endeavour to get all the information you need in order to make safe and fulfilling choices.

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